So I talk a lot about stigma. Why should I care? Besides
the obvious fact that I take care of and help with the mental illness
as a lawyer and someone living with a mental illness itself, because it
pains me to see how people suffer on mental health, I have some bad
run-ins with stigma in my own personal life.
When I was first diagnosed my freshman year in college, I decided to let some people in my secret with bipolar disorder. What I have to meet? Some helpful answers, yes, but many bad. The kind that I removed completely regret to say that the person I have a mental illness. It's a horrible feeling because of misunderstanding, doubt and judgment.
Here are some things I heard from people anonymously, directly to me, mostly from freshman year, but until last month:
When I was first diagnosed my freshman year in college, I decided to let some people in my secret with bipolar disorder. What I have to meet? Some helpful answers, yes, but many bad. The kind that I removed completely regret to say that the person I have a mental illness. It's a horrible feeling because of misunderstanding, doubt and judgment.
Here are some things I heard from people anonymously, directly to me, mostly from freshman year, but until last month:
"They have a light version of, is not it?" "Does not everyone go through mood swings? Can not you just get over it like everyone else?" "No offense, but it sounds like you are just making excuses. I'm sure you can get over it." "You seem pretty normal to me."
Not to mention the awkwardness and the awkward silence. A time that is in my mind is someone mutters, "What?" in disbelief and evil completely shutting down the conversation. Here are some things I've overheard in conversation, where people did not know that I had a mental illness: "I know she has problems ... I saw pills in their pocket." "People just pretend as if they are mentally ill, just so they can get a free room in Room Draw. Everyone has trouble concentrating." "I do not like taking medication because I'm strong enough to control my own body." "He's a cheater, because he takes Adderall." I've had people call me crazy in front of me and behind my back ... to compensate for professors. I do not know if that ironic or just plain cruel. That does not exactly make me want to open.
Not recognize some family friends in my area that I'm sick (in layman's terms). You can not call my mom to see how I do or understand that sometimes I do not, go to events, because I'm too dysfunctional by severe depression or mind-blowing side effects that make it difficult to move even from my bed (manage because that's as far as I after sleeping for 16 hours could) to my chair. They do not understand that I do not make it a full time job now and judge the hell out of me not having a technical job. Not to mention, this is a common, erroneous thinking process in Asian culture. Makes me so angry that I do not want to see it.
Because of all these cases it was extremely difficult for me to talk about my disease to humans. Due to the stigmatization of people I met, I began to stigmatize. This is what in my mind for more than five years:
"Hufsa you're crazy You're a freak You're stupid not to talk about it with people, getting awkward ... they will not understand you, you will judge you, you will say you are ... excuses you will think you are. not able to do what you want to do. Nobody would ever understand that medication that makes you slow., you will only hate you for the accommodations. always hate you ... "
I always kept a box and lock to keep my medication in. Many nights I cried and cried and cried in my room. When I talk about my illness, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt sick and scared out of my mind. I have a couple of really stupid decisions. My GPA decided to jump off a cliff and I felt like a complete idiot every damn day.
I seriously believe that if I had opened in the school and told my friends about my mental illness, things would have been different. I did open up some how when I go through terrible medication changes, but it just was not enough (not to mention stuck doing so by the fear).
But I can not change the past. Not to mention, six years have passed since those days. In truth, stigma has decreased since then. I have also become stronger when I have faced this kind of comments today, I would as an opportunity to educate people and fight the stigma!
So, back to the point. The reason I am sure so much about stigma is because I eliminate it, so that other people do not go through what I wanted. People should not be so anxious to open up and ask for help. With a mental illness should not have to be ashamed of something. It need not be so. And so I'm going to eliminate my toughest fight against stigma. Join me in this fight. ......
Thank you for coming in Health Issue Reviews and read the article about: As the stigma against mental illness damaged My Life , help us to Shared this article. hopefully useful to us all.
