The first time I saw Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor in "Singin 'in the Rain" I was thrilled! I could not believe what I saw! Men ... Dancing ... and makes it look cool! That did not jive with my previous idea of masculinity. It took several years to get up the courage to say that I want to try my hand (or foot) in tap dancing, but I finally did.
When my daughter was 6 years old, overlaps her dance class with an adult beginner tap class. I had predicted that I when this happened every me, I would sign. So, early in September of the same year I sat down with my daughter and told her I would at the beginner course for adults tap dance class at the same time, as she was going to her dance class.
When I told her, her eyes got very big and she said, "Really." I said, "Yup." She came up to me, put her arms around my neck and gave me the most genuine hug that I had ever received from her. It was the kind of hug that came deep inside her. It was completely reactionary. I'll never forget that hug. Which is why, I realized I could not go back! (CRAP!) I was excited and a little nervous to know that I'm probably going to be the only man ... But I shuffled, send in my application and money (now it really was!).
The day of our first class came and it turned out that not only my daughter and I both have class in tap water, but we had the same teacher. Her teacher, Ms. Ellen, taught the first half of their class and then came over to teach the adults (did I mention that it was the beginner class) class. Ellen has to type an intro and then asked us about our experiences with dance ... I did not, but together, I'm very athletic and play a lot of sports and would assume that most of these skills are transferable and coordination.
Boy was I wrong! Tap kicked my butt! Or more specifically, I stepped into the head ... My brain literally hurt after each class. I worked so hard to do my feet what the teacher is doing! I remember I could literally feel my brain trying to create new muscle memory and new neuropathways and it was very difficult! But there was some progress. It was very slow at first, but I managed to get a little better each class. There came a time when I could actually do all the warm-ups without messing up. Of course, I easily fall back to make mistakes and the wrong foot when I'm not full attention ...
In many ways, the change in the pattern or behavior of an individual or a family is a lot like my tap dancing class experience. Change old ways of interacting and thinking is not an easy job! When we try new ways of relating to our loved ones, we do things that are completely new to our brain. And it can be very difficult to change! What we know today about the brain is that it patterns and ways of doing things that are almost as created "super-highways" through the practice and ritual. These "super-highways" can be very difficult to change and create new paths.
There are even neuro-way, as we do, relationships., When we try to do things differently with our spouse or family, friends or at work, we have to have patience with us, because we will all create new ways unexplored areas in the brain. Although it may be hard to lead these new paths to health and healing, patterns of interaction that are life-giving and creating connection and intimacy. This is not easy and can cause our heads hurt! Getting my feet to do something that they can not be used as listening to my partner in a new way, or the opening of my vulnerability and fear to my partner, if I could get used to it, protect, it can be very hard work Old patterns will be easy to slip back in., but with support, patience and encouragement can develop new dance steps, and create a whole new wonderful dance....
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