In the latest technical and medical terminology, a vasectomy is a procedure in which the "vas deferens" omitted to prevent manic testosterone laden sperm from racing to impregnate the next sexy ovary, which happens to come their way. Yes, sperm are complete sluts. Everyone knows the "vas deferens" came to be called when Vas, the famous Dutch cycling legend, had a tragic accident while cycling down a particularly jarring mountainous route of the Tour de France, repeatedly striking a certain part of his anatomy on the support bar of his bike - and therefore it is always better to go for the guys to girls bike - but I digress.
Actually, the names of all the anatomical structures of Latin origin. Popularly known as "vas deferens" is difficult to translate, but most scientists agree, its meaning something along the lines of "snipping brings me great anxiety in unwelcome region of the body." And that is why, of course, invented the Romans straight, smooth roads, why do they put on pillows for their meals, and most importantly, why they invented frozen peas - but I digress - again.
Actually, the names of all the anatomical structures of Latin origin. Popularly known as "vas deferens" is difficult to translate, but most scientists agree, its meaning something along the lines of "snipping brings me great anxiety in unwelcome region of the body." And that is why, of course, invented the Romans straight, smooth roads, why do they put on pillows for their meals, and most importantly, why they invented frozen peas - but I digress - again.
Armed with this compelling evidence, I approached my friend (who thought a vasectomy would be a good way for me to make a valuable contribution to the relationship) to alert them to the bleak terrible dangers that are associated with this procedure. To my great dismay and despair, she did not even bother to take a look from her book, and said simply:., "I think your Latin is a bit rusty, you need only pull on your big boy pants, marching in the doctor's office, You can get your big boy pants and 'er done. hack. hack. ""I wish you would not say it quite that way." I pleaded."To set the date, George.
My God, can not you treat a little discomfort?""There is a lot of pain," I replied, "and I handle pain pretty well."She was still laughing when I made the appointment.Three weeks later I was sitting in the urologist's office with a group of men who collectively shared the appearance of the twelve year old boys before their first public shower after the middle school physical education. The staff was almost too friendly, as if they were privy to an inside joke the victims, I knew nothing about my patients.They called my name and when I saw the nurse as a sheep to the slaughter, follow Rose, my girlfriend winked at me and silently mouth "chop chop" as I leave in the waiting room.
The nurse was also overly friendly (but not in this way. Ensure!, This is not the kind of story) when she shaved my pubic area with something that looked like a rusty razor. Maybe it's just me, but the mere thought that have been stung be used before, was deeply disturbing.I was jolted out of my reverie, however, when they pulled out a container of a refrigerator. Smiling, she said: "It will hurt more than anything today," and then went on my private spray with a liquid colder than ice. I think it was liquid nitrogen, and I wondered briefly if the doctor marching with a sledgehammer, destroy my frozen balls into pieces and explain. "There is - you will never have children again"But no, it was not to be that simple.The physician must indicate the procedure room for real this time, and he also smiled blissfully. In his case, he probably still can not believe that he made so much money from plundering testicles.Regrets about my decision when I screw - until I saw the needle - and has the horror of its size as I am catatonic rooted "method" or chair sat the shelf - whatever is it called. The doctor smiled at me and said, "Do not move, we want to get this in place," as he went to dip the needle into the right side of my balls.Ouch!Yes, it hurt a lot.
How much you ask? Well, it hurts just as much as a needle would be thrown into the balls expected to be hurt - so, so much."Okay, that was not so bad was it?" The doctor asked, still grinning broadly. "Guess what? We just need that one more time to do."Before I could react, he impaled the left side of my testicles, and yes, it hurt pretty much the same.I do not remember too much after that, though my girlfriend says that I often experience the ordeal in my dreams, and that it will not hear too much of a turn on for her, me whimpering in bed. I remember at one point near the end of the process, a burning smell. I asked the doctor what it was grinning.Flashing a grin, he replied: "My flesh," and he enjoyed it to say. Apparently this is how they close the old vas deferens so that sperm can not get bold to the impregnation zone.
And that's why I think I was the victim of a violation of the Geneva Convention or something damn close.To my amazement, I did not ask to come hospitalization or outpatient care home, but I was very grateful for the ingenuity to invent novel this good old frozen peas.
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